D is for Denial and bunch of other things.

The Somehow I haven't keep up with my life very well, I'm failing at my own exercise. 

But when overwhelmed with emotion and unable to do anything about it, writing has always seem to help. Although blogging on the other hand has gave food for the hypocrites who like to gossip about me. So bon appetite mon amies. 

My obsession with time is relentless, yet I'm aware of it unconsciously. A week seems like a lot of time, yet there are 51 weeks left on a year. 

The last couple of months have been an emotional roller coaster, which isn't a big deal. Anything new in my life. 

Yet this is my new chapter, my new beginning and it hasn't been easy. 

Now talking about time, in the mist of my craziness I had a week to wake up, to laugh, to love, to learn, to explore, to try, to new chances, to dream, to believe, to sleep, togrow, to give, to cry, to gain, to lose, and most important IT WAS WILD! 

I willingly had Mexican food.

 And did silly things that soften my heart.

In the words of Christopher Martin in his album X & Y (2005),  "everything I know is wrong. Everything I do, just comes undone" I have listen to the whole album and I can since everything with the same vehemence is ride started. Maybe I can't say that I'm in love but I would to fall for him. I can't say you broke my heart but there is nothing to change that. But besides those two things. I can feel everything and is hard because, "the hardest part was letting go, not taking part". 

Somehow in this whole process I have managed to not go full Hispanic and demand a solution on the spot, although is been living hell, not knowing, wondering and worse trying not to dwell in the memories of one week! 

For Pete's sake! A week!! I know that life can change with the blink of an eye but, when you allow yourself to keep blinking for as long as I did, is hard to find where a place to go back. And I miss it. 

So what? I dived in, I was ready to quit. I no longer felt afraid to give up, no hopes, no false dreams. Then the unexpected happened and somehow I'm underestimating how happy this made me,this gave me a glimpse of what I long for, a chance of I never had, and a the assurance that I won't stop until I find it. 

Now the anticipation is over taking me, is funny it has taken over me and peaked every illness of mine. Exhausting!!!

But somehow I don't wanna give up, I can't and I miss you. 

And now what?